I used to be thin.

Okay, maybe not thin, but my clothes used to fit me a lot better than they do now.

I knew I was really in trouble with my weight when I had to go up a pants size. Eating out a lot and not being active enough has finally caught up with me.

They told me this would happen.

It is a sad fact that a woman’s metabolism slows down when she is in her forties. This actually started for me a long time ago. I have been battling my weight my entire life. I was a chubby kid. Even when I was actually thin, I still always thought of myself as overweight. I will never be thin enough. I won’t starve myself or purge to stay thin, but my weight has always been something I am very conscious of.

When I was in the Army, I didn’t struggle with my weight. I worked out a lot and even ran a marathon. I was so damned disciplined. It helps when you have positive social peer pressure making you stay in shape. I wish I had that now. This self-motivation crap is tough.

Three years ago, I was working out six days a week doing something called Fit Body Guide. It was intense but so worth it. I didn’t look like Anna Victoria, but I was in the best shape of my life. I don’t really have time for FBG right now. But who am I kidding, you have time for the things you think matter. Working out has not been my priority.

So my mother, who lives with me, has been doing Noom. Noom is an app you can put on your phone that is supposed to help you lose weight. My mom was totally fangirling about it after losing 8 lbs in her first week. She knows I hate that I have gained weight and that I am a bit narcissistic about my weight, so she bought me a six-month subscription.

Today I am on day 5. I have only lost 1 lb, and I bet it will find me by the weekend. It has me thinking about food choices. I opted not to have pizza last night with my family and ate two fried eggs and a piece of toast instead. I am meeting my step goal almost every day now, too. Mostly because it allows me a few extra calories on my daily intake. Whatever works, right? I have heard a lot of buzz about Noom. Now that I think about it, that might have just be paid advertising on various social media channels.

Here are some things I know about weight loss:

  • The scale is not a good indicator of weight loss (muscle weighs more than fat)
  • Feeling good is more important than hitting a certain number on the scale
  • Muscle looks better than flab
  • Stress can make it difficult to make good food choices
  • Exercise releases endorphins, which help you handle stress better and feel happier
  • Muscle uses more calories to maintain itself than any other body tissue, so muscular people burn more calories all. the. time.
  • The more weight you have, the less energy you have

Knowing these things doesn’t actually help me lose weight. I have to actually apply the knowledge. The last time I really saw significant weight loss, I was working out 6 days a week. I have no illusions that an app will actually help me lose weight. I have to get off my ass and start working out again.

What have you tried for weight loss, and did it work?